1) put the lid of the sippy cup onto the milk and or the milk’s cap into the sippy cup.
2) called your child (or children) everyone else’s name in the house but theirs.
3) gone into a room, stopped…and thought “what they hell I’m I in here for”
4) worn the same makeup the next day.
5) have locked your children in a room and or locked yourself in a room to get some “quiet time”.
6) wished happy hour was earlier in the day, googled happy hours around the world and decided to have a drink anyways!
7) have rolled down one or all windows while driving to keep a toddler awake (reason, you wanted that half hour of time to finish the coffee you reheated three times that morning).
8) have yelled before 8am.
9) you now find it awkward to close the bathroom door while going to the washroom.
10) date night is when you get two more hours of sleep while watching a movie with your hubby.
11) you no longer judge “other” moms when they lose their s*** in a store with their children.
12) you have removed one battery from the remote control and flat out pretended the TV was broken.
13) you have mimed “anger” at your child (children) in a store.
14) have denied your child (children) “liquids” before or during a trip in order to avoid yet another visit to a public washroom.
15) have asked or questioned your children (child)on the where a bouts of gypsies, if the knew what gypsies do with children or asked for some gypsies to come and take your children away.
16) have whispered or said “go the F*** to sleep”
17) reheated your coffee more than three times in one day and or drank day old coffee.
18) lied to your mother about a) what your making or have made for dinner and or B) anything related to your children.
19) have convinced yourself that goldfish are indeed a whole grain nutritious meal.
20) tested the limits of a diaper and lost.
21) thought it’s true, all they can do is provide sperm.
22) tidied for a six year old play date so they would go home and tell their mom you are a slob.
23) have parked in the “motherhood” spot (while not being pregnant) at the grocery store and stuck out your belly as you got out of your car.
24) have skipped, changed or missed words in the bedtime book in order to end the misery of a long day had.
25) feels that a vacation is the same job just in a different location.
lastly, have you used any of these in any variation or in any situation :
“you have got to be joking right now”
“sweet marry and baby jesus WTH is going on in here”
“because I don’t have enough to do”
“yo, where are you going”
“for the last time”
“one, t w o, THREE…..FOUR, F I VE!!”
“this has got to be a joke”
“what did you just say”
“i said no more potty talk!”
If you answered “yes” to :
1-5 your slowly making your way to a modern mom
5-10 your the MOD in modern
10 – 26 your working your magic to survive this gig called motherhood!
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL YOU MODERN MOM’S OUT THERE!